


A thousand stars at night

by Stickywhiskers



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Body Horror, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Mythology - Freeform, Romance, Sex, Starvation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2020-10-29 05:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stickywhiskers/pseuds/Stickywhiskers
Summary: Over and over again she lives, sometimes she dies. In the light and the dark, the stars watch her always, with or without him.A collection of stories about Rin and Sesshoumaru.





	1. Summers gone

The summer of Rins sixteenth year.  
___________________________________________________

The sea-foam days were over.

Tremors in her hands, in her tongue, lying flat and heavy in her mouth. Her voice no longer rang out across the waves, or in the hallowed halls of his shiro.  
The sing-song teasing of Jaken gradually came to a stop, as headaches burst bright behind her eyes. The call of the gulls and the crashing of waves that used to be her nightly lullaby we now a torturous cacophony. 

Sesshoumaru came and stood outside of her room often, pausing at the shouji door, listening as Rin would stumble around her room, hearing the soft sweeping of her small, cool hands over her achy inflamed legs. His mind raced behind his usual detached exterior, he knew very little of human maladies, and up until this point Rin had always been a hale young woman, strong and lithe.  
Never tiring, never wavering, always in his shadow.

What was happening to her? Rin had witnessed all sorts of sickness in her time in Inuyashas village, she had wrapped wounds, and gathered herbs for every common ailment. She had never suffered more than a spring cold, even then, it was not in her nature to spend long days in bed, restless she would always potter around the small hut she inhabited with Kaede-sama; nose red and cracked and cheeks ruddy.  
But now she found her head pounding and her tongue thickening in her mouth, even sitting in the gardens watching Ah-Uhn graze would leave her shivering and weak.  
The creeping malaise around the edge of her mind was what scared her the most, she had woken the other morning in the orchard, curled at the base of a magnolia with no memory of how she had gotten there; freezing and afraid she stumbled back to her room and slept until the following morning. 

Sesshoumaru began to travel less and less, no longer leaving for more than a handful of days at a time, his body rigid and tense until he lay eyes upon her.  
He would gently embrace her; nosing at the crown of her head, sniffing to ascertain her health. 

He breathed in disaster, he breathed in death.

Rin was determined not to burden her lord, she shut away all her fears, all her disgust at her hollowed cheeks and protruding bones, she wrapped herself in thick winter kimonos and covered her feet. She insulated herself away from her own gaze, and from his. 

She washed regularly, determined to rid herself of the stench of sickness she knew Sesshoumaru would smell on her, seeping through her pores.  
Then the mania set in. She would shake, visible even through her many layers, hands and legs trembling as if freezing, but sweating in a rapturous fever.  
Rin, tried to turn away from Jakens worried gaze, she couldn’t bear to look at his confusion and despair, his round bug-eyed stare. But she found instead of rolling onto her side, she started convulsing in fits of laughter. Not the carefree melodic laughter of a bare-footed wild-child of the forest, not her laughter.  
This was an explosion, bubbled up from the pit of her stomach, where all her foul viscera clenched and twisted.

Her eyes leaked tears and she shook with laughter as Jaken gaped.

Sesshoumaru destroyed his office, his desk splintered, his scrolls rendered and rent by claws seeping acid. He became a hive of dangerous energy, simmering under the surface and ready to unleash upon whoever dared disturb him; he stalked the halls of his shiro, he obsessively patrolled his estate, the lands and the coast, he slaughtered any youkai who dared come close.  
He railed against the world that would have Rin so utterly and completely protected by him, his vast power, only to rot her from the inside out. While he watched on helpless.  
Rin began to ask for Sesshoumaru to sit with her, she rarely left her bed, and slept most of the day, but propped up upon a mountain of pillows she sipped her miso and tried to smile, tried to coax peace from her lord, even as he gazed resolutely past her and out to the sea. 

“Rin remembers being sick before” Rin spoke softly, between small bites of her rice, she glanced under her lashes up at Sesshoumarus face “mama would tell me stories, she had a lovely voice”  
Rin stared down at her hands, refusing to let her tears fall, she felt Sesshoumaru turn towards her, heard him inhale sharply,

“Rin- “

“But Rin is thankful she is here, even though she is sick, she is so comfortable, and well fed! Before Rin was always hungry” she hurriedly offered up a crooked smile, taking another small sip of miso to prove just how much better off she was.  
Sesshoumaru watched the bowl press to her cracked lips, then into her eyes, a slow comprehension dawning in his golden stare. 

“Rin, what do you mean you were always hungry?”

Rin met his eyes with confusion, did he not know what her previous life was like? Surely she had mentioned she was a peasant before he resurrected her?  
“Rins family was very poor, mama said the village was having trouble feeding everyone, there was a famine my lord”.

Rin struggled to think back on that time, when her belly was always empty, her brother’s big eyes sat in hollow sockets. 

Her mother’s limp hair.

“Rin remembers, one day mama was crying, her hair was falling out” 

Not just falling out. Great clumps in her slender hands as Rins father watched on from the doorway to their hut. Her mama had been trembling, Rin couldn’t remember their faces.

Sesshoumaru observed Rin, her drawn face and slightly unfocused eyes as she told him of her life,  
God he didn’t want to hear this, his Rin starving in some shit-hole village, with parents who couldn’t feed her, a village full of men who beat her; he flexed his claws and growled softly under his breath. 

Rin was not looking at Sesshoumaru, but her miso, clouding and swirling in its fine porcelain bowl.

“Papa took Rins brother out to hunt that day, even though we hadn’t had meat for months, nobody was able to go far enough to lay new traps,” Sesshoumaru grimaced, even the animals knew to avoid that cursed place.

“Th-there was an accident, Rins brother died, but-“ Rin slowed and her voice trembled as she looked up into Sesshoumaru’s face,

“What is it Rin?” Something inside Sesshoumaru bristled, his hackles raised, and a cold dread settled in the pit of his belly.

“Rins brother died- but papa brought home meat.” Rin trembled, and tears started to fall down her sallow cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So although I'm fully aware that Kuru is an extremely rare disease found almost exclusively in New Guniea, not feudal era Japan...I was astounded to find the incubation period for the disease is usually ten years, (up to 50!) and this kinda got me thinking about Rins pre Sess life. So in-case it was more vague than I intended: Rin indeed got Kuru, from being fed her brother.  
I'm totally new to this, so I'd love some feedback, and I hope to add more short stories to this. (please forgive any typos and the potentially abhorrent layout)  
Also the title comes from An Emerald City track (check it out, it's beautiful)


	2. I'm so glad I found you.

She swept past him in a flurry, red-faced and jaw clenched, her embarrassment palpable.

Without thinking he ensnared her arm as she made to pass him, his whole hand encircling the limb he felt and heard the creaking of her bone under the pressure of his grasp. Rin slid back along the polished wooden floors in her socked feet, as he pulled her back towards him. She gasped and made a low moan of despair, but didn’t try pull away, instead she turned to face him, her eyes staring resolutely at his chest. He cursed himself for his thoughtlessness, but her pain only proved his point. He wasn’t even trying to hurt her, she was so much frailer than him. More temporary. 

God he hated her, 

Rin, the nova that burned in his orbit threatening to blind him, pulling him against his will towards her gravity, cursing him to revolve around her as she collapsed in upon herself. 

“You see”, he bit out lowering his face towards hers, “this desire of yours is unnatural, this Sesshoumaru is not for the likes of you”

Rin refused his gaze, knowing that she couldn’t bear whatever expression was currently in his eyes. 

God she hated him.

Her past was nothing but pain and misery, her future was so elusive and hazy that she considered herself bereft of that too. She was a human, who travelled with demons, who built friendships with demons, who loved demons.  
In the eyes of humans, especially those who toiled in the fields, who were close to the earth and the superstitions that kept them wary of strangers, of anything tainted, she was vile.  
Sesshoumaru was the centre of the universe, he rested firmly in the cage of her chest, intertwined with every nerve in her spine. In every movement she felt the gift of life he had given her; every breath was borrowed air from his lungs, breathed into her body. 

She was a walking shrine to his power, to the most selfless thing he had ever done.

And she knew he both loathed and loved her for it. 

“but who is for the likes of me?” she spoke low and bitterly through tears.

____________________

Days later, Rin lay on her bed, kimono hiked up to her hips, her hands worked tentatively between her legs. She did nothing to hide her rapid breathing, the scent of her filling the air of her room. She imagined those hands that had bruised her forearms gripping her now in passion, stripes thickening in ragged slashes across ivory cheeks. Being pressed into the mattress by his weight, completely enveloped by his form. She imagined the toxicity of his acid burning into her back, as he was unleashed.

If she had to suffer, so would he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what I'm doing. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated! I have so many ideas for these two but find writing longer pieces very challenging.


	3. A different kind of battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heat creeps in. Two very different creatures of the wild begin a dance around one another, just out of reach. Its all so new.

She cracked her knuckles, the popping giving her a grim satisfaction. Taking a steadying breath and re-focusing on the task at hand, Rin deftly knotted the hem of her simple yukata up above her knees. She wouldn’t let her fatigue slow her down, Inuyasha was going to pay.

Pay for a whole afternoon of putting her on her ass. 

She re-gripped her bo-staff and set her sights on the grinning hanyo at the other end of the clearing.

It was a miserably hot afternoon, and the nape of Rins neck was drenched in sweat, having been on her feet all day; first racing through her chores, and then having finally convinced Inuyasha she was ready to spar with him, getting soundly beaten, thrown, and otherwise man-handled for the better part of an hour.

“You sure you’re up for another round kid?” Inuyasha scratched a fluffy ear, he was starting to think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Having a few rounds with Kohaku was one thing, but Rin was his brothers pup, and she was a great deal more tenacious than he expected. No matter how he made sure to pull punches last minute, tuck his claws and move at a more normal human pace, Rin charged him with such fury and reckless tenacity he had ended up using more of his strength on the girl than he intended.

She looked like a damn mess and he really didn’t want Kagome or his dick of a brother to kick up a fuss at her state.

“Of course, you’re not tired yet are you Inuyasha-san?” Rin bared her teeth in a challenge, the blood staining her gums made for a surprisingly intimidating image.

With a sigh, Inuyasha lifted his wooden practise sword (that was one thing he really did put his foot down at), settling into an easy stance; he waited for the inevitable charge.

Rin was never one to disappoint.

Knowing full well he was holding back for her sake, she sought to provoke him just a little. Just enough to fight her properly. She was tired of her stalled progress; Sango had taught her quite a lot of self-defence but was run ragged with her brood. Kohaku was a great teacher, but he too was starting to become uncertain at the idea of a young woman learning beyond what was necessary for self-defence.

Rin didn’t want to just defend herself, she wanted to be fierce. She wanted Sesshoumaru to see her as useful, not just a member of his pack who was constantly in need of rescuing, who couldn’t even handle the weakest yokai. 

Although Rin suspected Sesshoumaru would be annoyed at the broken toe and chipped tooth she had procured in the past week on her quest for strength, she knew she needed to do this. To be stronger, so she could accompany him on his travels. So he would see her as more than just a scampering whelp to be rebuffed and rebuked. All she wanted of her small life was to be at Sesshoumaru’s side, she didn’t need a village to call home, just the wild earth beneath her feet and the arch of starry heaven above.

Clearing her mind and focusing her gaze on Inuyasha, she ran forward, aiming a strike at his middle, which he moved to meet with almost bored ease.

Wood clattered on wood, as the shock of impact travelled up Rins arms, she grit her teeth and flowed smoothly around Inuyasha, re-striking with her staff at his low ribs.

“You’ve very fast Inuyasha-san, as to be expected from Sesshoumaru-samas younger brother” 

Another missed swing, another dive under the blunted edge of his sword.  
Her taunts flew between pants for breath, her grip slicked with sweat, brow furrowed in concentration. Although still easily out-manoeuvring her, Inuyashas hits began to become more forceful, his pull-back quicker, his steps more aggressive.  
He was pushing forward into her space, as she conceded ground and began to struggle to defend her vital spots. After one particularly nasty near-miss to her right kidney, Inuyasha offered a rakish grin; knowing he was about to end this little game of hers.

Until she dropped to the ground and swept his feet out from under him.

She had finally knocked the mutt down! 

Sliding on her shins, she spun, using her staff to propel herself to her feet, feeling a grin spread on her bruised face.

Until a firm grip on her ankle jerked her down into the dirt. With a yelp, Rin was brought to her back, bo-staff slipping awkwardly from her grip, and a very pissed looking hanyo face appearing above her. His knees dug painfully into her legs, as he rested his weight on her and sat back to look her with an unimpressed expression. 

“Inuyasha-san” she huffed out with a pant, “you weigh a fucking ton, get off me”

“Kya, better not let Sesshoumaru hear you speak like that, he’ll have both our heads” Rolling gracefully to his feet Inuyasha offered Rin a hand and effortlessly pulled her to stand.

“No, just yours”, Rin stretched out her back, and attempted to wipe some of the dirt off the back of her yukata. 

Inuyashas nose suddenly tilted up into the air, scenting something on the wind, he grimaced and then turned away from Rin, picking up his sword and hefting it over his shoulder.

“Speaking of the bastard, he’s heading this way” Rins eyes widened at the prospect, looking down at her soiled clothing and skin, “and I ain’t sticking around to see him chew you out”, with that he turned back towards the village and offered her one last glance and a casual wave.

“See ya kid, don’t be late for dinner, you know how Kagome gets” he chuckled as he headed out of the clearing, making for home.

Rin took a moment to assess the situation; nothing could be done about her clothing…but she could try to tame the birds-nest of hair currently residing on her head before her lord spotted her.  
Shaking out the brown mass, she worked quickly to detangle with her slim fingers, smoothing down the locks and twisting them quickly into a thick braid.

Sesshoumaru appeared on the edge of the clearing, watching Rin attempt to groom herself, presumably for his benefit. He scanned her form and took in her dirt stained knees, visible under her knotted yukata. Her swollen lip and numerous bruises, with a long-suffering sigh, he made himself visible to her, walking into the light and towards her.

“Rin” 

She looked guiltily up to his face, noting the slight glimmer of amusement in his eyes, and mentally relaxing as she realised, he wasn’t about to berate her.

“Hello Sesshoumaru-sama, how was your journey?”

He raised one precise eyebrow as he eyed her hem-line, which she had completely forgotten about. Turning red as she quickly bent to untie the knot and straighten out the now utterly creased fabric, he smoothly replied, “It was acceptable”.

He began to gracefully circle her, taking in the various grass-stains and bruises, he almost smiled, knowing that she was underneath it all, in good health and perfectly content to push her body to its limits.

Although he knew humans had reservations about their women battling and partaking in strenuous activity outside of the daily grind of chores and farming, females of his kind; youkai, did not have such reservations. They battled, and loved and lived with energy and passion and he could not find it in himself to scold Rin for following in his footsteps, having been exposed to so much violence in her early youth, he expected her to desire the ability to fend for herself.

He finished his assessment of her bedraggled state and faced her, noticing a blush staining her cheeks. 

And the god-awful scent of his brother all over her.

He moved forward, his hands still at his sides, bending his face down towards the nape of her neck, scenting her salty perspiration and her own musky odour, he felt her tense; her breathing becoming shallow as he ran the tip of his nose from her collarbone up to underneath her jaw.

He licked below her ear and then repeated the action on her other side, eyeing how her hands trembled and her eyes slid shut, bruised lips parting.  
When he stepped back, she blinked up at him dazedly, a question in her almost black with desire eyes.

“Inuyashas scent was on you, you are under my protection, and as such, will wear my scent”, he spoke low and stepped to put more distance between them.

Rin fought her blush and leaned down to pick up her discarded bo-staff, trying to keep her hands steady as she felt a hot liquid burn in her belly. The feel of his wet tongue and heated breath on her neck had made her heart race so loud she was sure he could hear it. She straightened up and shyly meet Sesshoumaru’s gaze.

“Thank you”, she whispered, and turned back towards the village, jogging to make it back before nightfall.

Sesshoumaru watched her go.


	4. Disappears into ether

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes only the bare bones of a story are left, Rin has always found pleasure puzzling together the skeletons she finds.

Once, there was a little girl.

On the banks of the river she lived a small and tidy life, she ate rice and fish when things were good, and roots and tubers when things were not so.

She loved her mother; the fussy hands that scrubbed her clean with silty sand from the riverbed.

She loved her brothers and her father, even as they shooed her away from their nets and their sharp knifes as they deftly cut into the slippery flesh of a bursting fishes belly. Sometimes they would scoop out the transparent orange eggs from within and she would wonder at the luminous orbs before quickly licking them off her sticky fingers.

She loved them even more so when they tickled her mercilessly and carried her upon their shoulders. Holding her up towards the heavens to see just that little bit futher, to be just that little bit closer.

But her family was killed. 

What she saw filled her with so much grief that there was no room in her body for breath; and so, her voice fled like a startled bird, leaving the girl mute.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once there was a girl.

And she was eaten alive by wolves, her flesh ripped in searing hunks from her small back and thighs, crushed under their hot furred bodies as they ate greedy mouthfuls of her. Their reeking breath filling her nose as she reached out for anybody, for her mama, for help, for…

Him.

All of a sudden, there was no blood rushing in her ears, no pain or fear, no empty silence or wheel turning eternally as she witnessed the grinding purification of all things.

There was just him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once there was a young woman who danced with death.

The jaws of a hellhound gobbled her up and if she was older she would have noted with some irony how all things came to her, tragedy or fortune, in the guise of a dog.

Again, she saw the many armed godhead, the machine that polished and cleansed all earthy transgressions into gold.

With stubborn defiance the clawed hands of the white dog demon snatched her back.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Then there was a young woman who loved.

Rin arched under his weight, he watched silently as she writhed, clutching him to her breast. His hips bruised her, his fangs and claws drew blood, and she came spilling hot mouthfuls of his name into the starry firmament.

That night, Rin dreamed of the great Inu-mother, her husbands honoured dam. She saw her own full belly, filled with hanyo-life, smooth and stretched and full to burst as any sleek salmon, sliced open by the claws of her mother-in-law. 

Her children slipping from her in wet coils onto the floor.

As her husband lay sated beside her, she contemplated her future. Resolute, she reached a small hand into his mouth, plucking a single fang and wrapping it in cloth before making her way to the palace of the Inu-mother.

Fearless she begged the beautiful demoness to cradle her, to hold her and welcome her and the newly seeded life inside her into the family, as her only son would wish. For was that not the way of dogs; to nose and nuzzle and muss at the fur of one another?

The great canine opened her arms, her pelt undulating in anticipation of coiling tight around the young woman and choking the life out of her; but as Rin clambered into the plush lap of the demon, she pulled her husband’s great fang from within her robe and plunged it into the heart of the wicked woman. 

With a cry the inu-mother clawed at her own chest, her skin burning with the venom leaking from her sons tooth.

Her body lay still in a pool of fur and fabric, heavy velvet spilling over her throne puddling with her blood so black.

Before Rins eyes, the human illusion dissolved, and a great white dog lay dead before her.

Rin walked to the mouth of the enormous body, still warm and with eyes rolled back. The huge lips curled back over pink gums and ivory teeth as tall as a man. She clambered inside the wet mouth, hands slipping over the massive tongue as she crawled on all fours down into the enormous gullet of the beast. 

Wrapped safe inside the flesh of the conquered demon, she stayed.

Eating fistfuls of meat, she feasted on the mothers heart and lungs and liver.

In time, her belly began to slowly expand, her inu-yokai daughters growing strong inside her.

Eventually she pried her way out of the massive corpse, her twin daughters cradled in her arms.

Her husband met her and licked clean his children and beloved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading a lot of early myths, cannibalism and matricide abound. I hope you can forgive me this one.


End file.
